Better Late than Never

Almost a year and a half later - here I am with an update.

Things have been wonderful with Matthew.. he has grown into the most beautiful baby boy and he is certainly everything we expected and more. It has been such a pleasure to watch him grow and to be his Mommy. He is walking and talking, and has even pee'd in the potty a few times!! I can NOT believe how fast life is going now that he's here... it really is true, time flies when you are having fun.

I will start with the positive updates. Aside from Matthew being perfect and smart and adorable! I have started my Masters! I am really enjoying it, I go with a great group of girls, and it has been so much fun to socialize with others who share my second biggest passion in life (first, of course, being a Mommy!) I have even subbed a few days last schoolyear and have enjoyed it, although ultimately I want to bed at home. Financially, I will have to work, at least part time for this upcoming school year. It is such a blessing though, to know that I have my parents (and BJ's, if need be) to watch Matthew, so I know he is in good hands.

Now, to the not so good stuff: Unfortunately, there has been a bit of this.
We have had a few heartaches in the past year and a half. BJ lost his uncle, who was very near and dear to him.... Tommy was such a huge influence on BJ, he was a wonderful person and I am honored to have known him. He had a long battle with cancer, and is finally at rest. Still, we miss him every day, as I know his family does. I know BJ would have loved for Matthew to know his uncle Tommy! Shortly after Tommy's passing, BJ lost his grandmother, very suddenly. It was heartbreaking. The O'Brien's had a tough couple of months.

This year hasn't proven to be much better -- My grandmother passed away, at the age of 96. She certainly lived a long life, and lived it to the fullest, but it doens't take away the sadness that she is gone. BJ also lost a dear friend in Afghanistan, within days of my grandmothers passing. It was a rough June, that's for sure.

Unfortunately, nothing topped our loss in March. We were expecting #2, our second son. He was diagnosed with CDH - Congenital Diaphramatic Hernia. We were given the decision to end the pregnancy (at 23 weeks), but ultimately chose not too. Knowing we couldn't make the decision ourselves, God took our beloved baby boy in his arms on March 31st, 2010. I delivered him, one day short of 24 weeks. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but his passing was peaceful, which is certainly a blessing. He never knew anything but the comfort of my belly. I still miss the slight movements, daily, and pregnancy will never be the same for me, as I think i will always have that fear.

So now, we are beginning the stages of TTC again. I really want to give Matthew a sibling, and I want another little one so badly. I Love nothing more than being a Mommy. It is so much more than I ever thought it would be. And BJ is a better Dad than I could have ever imagined.

Right now we aren't too worried about TTC, I don't want to stress over it, because I don't want to think about the possibilities of something going wrong. But if it happens, we will be delighted.

So that's our update. Hopefully only positive posts from here on out.. and I will try to keep things updated more often than once a year... Life is pretty hectic with a toddler though.